dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
