I got chris browned last night
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize