Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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