He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Everclear isn't food dammit
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
