Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
