Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
