I'm pants shitting drunk right now
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
