Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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