highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
