I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
