I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
