Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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