Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize