and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
