One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
