i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
