So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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