didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Man, jail baloney is awful.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Randomize
