I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
