You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
