So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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