i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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