I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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