we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
