I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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