I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
