Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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