Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
