And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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