It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize