new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
