Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
