I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize