There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
