I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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