awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
