she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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