id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Randomize
