I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
