I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
