Yo dont text me then not text me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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