I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize