HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
