JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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