Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
