ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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