You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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