Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
