dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
