i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
