he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize