Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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