I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We have started to decorate penises.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
