I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
