Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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