her vagine was all disorganized.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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