She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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