Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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