SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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