Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
