Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize