the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Alive.
So much puke
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
