Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
