dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
