butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
