Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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