U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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