I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize