Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
