yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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