U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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