can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I woke up under a house in Key West
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
