I think i peed on brittanys purse
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
