those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
