Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize