i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
