I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
