Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize