I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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